Why risk everything at Newcastle for Joe Kinnear?

The fallout from Joe Kinnear's appointment as director of football continues. Just 24 hours after the club agreed a three-year deal with their ex-caretaker boss, managing director Derek Llambias quit St. James' Park.

Kevin Hatchard of Sportsmedia believes there's no method to this madness at all.

If Joe Kinnear is the answer, many horrified Newcastle United fans are wondering what on earth the question could have been. 

Four years after leaving the Magpies’ managerial hot-seat because of a heart problem, 66-year-old Kinnear has bumbled his way back into St. James’ Park with all the grace and verbal dexterity of Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

Kinnear revealed on Sunday that he had been offered the role of Director of Football, but it took until Tuesday for the Magpies to sheepishly confirm the appointment. Kinnear’s initial statement dripped with bravado – he announced his intention to make Newcastle “far better than they are now”, and lauded himself as a “good tactician and a very good judge of a player.” He also suggested he would have the final say on transfers and would get rid of players who aren’t good enough.

Kinnear gave an extraordinarily bone-headed interview to talkSPORT on Monday night, claiming to have signed Tim Krul when in fact the Dutch keeper was already at the club when he arrived. There was some solace to be taken from that part of the interview - Krul was just about the only player who Kinnear named correctly in the entire quarter-of-an-hour. Kinnear also claimed he has won the Manager of the Year award three times (he has won it once), and that he played over 400 games for Spurs (he hasn’t).

As amusing as all of this is to the neutral observer, there are serious misgivings amongst the Newcastle support about a man who has spent less than six months of the last nine years in the dugout. No-one can take away Kinnear’s successes as a manager at Wimbledon or as a player at Tottenham, but those glories have long faded. It seems inconceivable that Kinnear would have landed such a high-profile position had it not been for his friendship with Magpies’ chairman Mike Ashley.

Kinnear has already lambasted the club’s 16^th-placed finish in the Premier League, but there were mitigating factors. A catastrophic set of injuries made life difficult for boss Alan Pardew, and his squad was further stretched by the club’s outstanding run to the quarter-finals of the Europa League. Pardew has conceded he gave too much responsibility to some of the club’s youngsters in the early part of the campaign, and as a result mistakes were made and Premier League points went begging. However, this was an error that Pardew had already admitted to and rectified with an intelligent January transfer spree. Kinnear is bringing the Polyfilla and the trowel when the repair work’s already been done.

Newcastle’s transfer policy has been prudent and thoughtful in the past couple of years, and if I was a Magpies fan I would be concerned by potential damage to an efficient system. Chief scout Graham Carr has overseen the arrival of some excellent players. Yohan Cabaye and Cheik Tiote are fine midfielders (although Tiote’s form has dipped), Papiss Cisse made an instant impact on his arrival from unheralded Bundesliga club Freiburg (the departure of Demba Ba did him no favours), Mathieu Debuchy will be an excellent right-back for Newcastle when he adjusts to the pace of the Premier League, and I think both midfielder Moussa Sissoko and defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa are shrewd acquisitions.

This Pardew-Carr axis has worked pretty well, and Ashley has now thrown a Kinnear-shaped grenade into the mix. Kinnear’s input and contacts may well enhance Newcastle’s transfer policy, but the point is that we just don’t know what impact he’ll have, and his arrival is therefore a huge risk. Kinnear has had verbal diarrhoea since Sunday, and one wonders if he can resist commenting on the team’s displays throughout the season. He insists he has a good relationship with Pardew, but will that remain the case when the Magpies hit their first rough patch of the season? Will Kinnear loom over Pardew’s shoulder when the pressure’s really on? Will Kinnear irritate star players, like he did when he referred to Charles N’Zogbia as “Insomnia”, causing a talented winger to quit the club?

Only time will provide the answers to these questions, but the last time Kinnear was directly involved with a Newcastle campaign, the Magpies were relegated at the end of the season. The club’s fans will desperately hope lightning doesn’t strike twice at St James’ Park.

Pardew's new contract is too long

Alan Pardew and his backroom staff at Newcastle United have been given massive new eight-year contracts.

Coaches John Carver, Steve Stone and Andy Woodman join the boss in levels of unprecedented job security.

It's reward for the Toon finishing in fifth-place in the Premier League last season.



Pardew, Llambias and ... Wonga!

Together with chief scout Graham Carr, who's credited with sniffing out undiscovered gems across Europe and will be 75 when his deal ends, Pardew's assembled a squad of all-talents. He's successfully fended off the attentions of Champions League clubs for their best players in the last transfer window.

And though that's no mean achievement after the ignominy of relegation under Joe Kinnear and Alan Shearer, there's no need to secure a manager so long-term.

Managing Director Derek Llambias said: "If you look at clubs like Manchester United and Arsenal, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger have shown that stability gives you the best platform to achieve success, and that is the model we wish to emulate here.

'We're looking to build on the success we had last season and these new contracts are aimed at keeping the club progressing on and off the pitch, as we have done since returning to the Premier League in 2010.

'Alan has done a fantastic job over the last couple of years and has proved what a great Premier League manager he is.

'I have total respect for him in all football matters and have an excellent relationship with him which I think benefits the club enormously.

A player awarded an eight-year deal post-Bosman is understandable. But a boss?

It'd be logical if upward progress was as predictable as it's been fast for Newcastle in the last two seasons.

But football isn't like that.

When things come undone, they come undone big time, especially at a volatile club like Newcastle where the gap between expectation and trophy haul is as big a gulf as probably any club in the world.

Trouble is there's a thin line between stability and complacency - and you wouldn't begrudge Pardew - or some older members of his management team putting a big cigar on when secured under a huge contract.

Pardew signed a five-and-a-half year deal from the get-go at St. James' Park - before he'd earned any lengthy loyalty.

It's made still more confusing by the treatment Mike Ashley and the board dished out to previous boss, Chris Hughton who immediately returned Newcastle to the big time at the first time of asking - then stabilised them back in the top flight.

He was sacked midway through a season to be replaced by Pardew.

No one's arguing with how the former West Ham and Charlton boss has succeeded. The manager of the year's continuing to progress the club.

But if and when it goes wrong, it'll be a Titanic and costly turn to a new plan.

And in the world of football, particularly Newcastle United, you'd say with near certainty Pardew won't be there in 2020 - either Manchester United and their like will come calling and Ashley will get huge compensation.

Or on the balance of probabilities when Pardew's luck runs out, he'll get a disproportionate payoff instead.

Ashley's a retail visionary and one wonders whether he's applying unprecedented commercial acumen to the job of running a big club.

But football's like no other business. I think he's busking this. A four-year extension for his management team would've served the club better.

Pardew hits jackpot thanks to Mad Mike Ashley

Every neutral's favourite Pardew moment!

Not content with one cock-eyed decision, Newcastle owner Mike Ashley's scored a rather unique double!

Not even Deadly Doug Ellis could've boasted that with his managerial swingdoor at Villa Park.

Because in sacking Chris Hughton after leading Newcastle to the Championship at the first time of asking, Mad Mike's brought in Alan Pardew - on a five-and-a-half year contract!

Ashley declared Newcastle needed a coach of greater experience and pedigree: Martin Jol's instantaneous departure from Ajax suddenly seemed less than co-incidental and Martin O'Neill, though expensive, would've made Hughton's sacking look brutal, rather than stupid.

Instead, the silver-haired, silver-tongued Pardew got the nod after meeting Toon Chief Executive Derek Llambias in a casino which he manages!

Pardew's been a canny lad here, bartering a long-term contract in exchange for a comparatively small salary. £450,000 a year is much, much less than other Premier League bosses get.


Ashley takes advice from the bottom of a beer glass.



But all it does is incentivise Pardew to fail inside three seasons. The lawyer at the League Managers Association should diarise his appointments calendar for sometime in 2013.

As an outside observer of Newcastle since the heady days of Kevin Keegan, it appeared that in Chris Hughton, Mad Mike had finally landed the right guy.



A decent, well-liked man, with a lower-than-average profile and no ego.

Newcastle United were always the fall guy to a false Messiah or Big Name drafted in from a smaller, more successful club, whose reputation promised to end the silverware drought.

But not only had Hughton galvanised the Toon out of the total chaos of relegation, Alan Shearer and all, but also restored the Premier League to St James' Park in the most unlikely of circumstances.

Newcastle are now mid-table, providing England with their centre-forward, enjoying wins at Everton and Arsenal and thumping home victories over Aston Villa and local rivals, Sunderland.

Now Pardew, sitting on the contract of his life is set up, while the team around him are instantly unsettled by events. The tension is completely the wrong way around!

How not to run a successful Football Club.

Well, at least Ashley's wasting his own cash and no-one else's. But you can't play games with people's passions forever. And once again for no reason at all, the Toon Army have been ignored and made fools of.

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Renaming St. James' Park? another Mike Ashley mess

By GREVILLE WATERMAN. This is well worth reading as Greville's been in the sports sponsorship game for a quarter of a century. Read on as he explains why Mike Ashley is no Dave Whelan!

As pundit Richard Littlejohn often says when faced with yet another example of the idiocy of everyday life - "you couldn't make it up".

Yes, our Keystone Cop friends at Newcastle United have even surpassed themselves with their idiotic announcement that they are seeking a Naming Rights Partner for St. James' Park.

Not content with trampling all over hundred years of heritage and tradition, they've decided for illustrative purposes only to attach the name of owner Mike Ashley's company and for the remainder of the season the stadium will instantaneously be known as Sportsdirect.com@stjamespark.

So where do we start in exposing this example of crass lunacy?

The concept of naming rights can be an extremely effective marketing tool but only if the name is attached to a new stadium.

For all the inherent sense of tradition of most Arsenal fans, The Emirates Stadium IS The Emirates just as St. James' Park IS and always WILL be St. James' Park.

Not content with ignoring marketing precedent and the laws of commonsense, the decision to attach a temporary name to the stadium totally beggars belief.

I cannot imagine that fans and the media alike will use the new convoluted name, and potential sponsors will take this into account when considering the viability of the proposition.

Also why on earth give the stadium another corporate name, however temporary, when you're looking for a new long-term naming rights partner - total madness.

This whole project seems to be an ill thought through and badly conceived bodge that has little or no chance of success.

Newcastle fans and even a local MP are up in arms at this local outrage, although I suspect they needn't worry - I can't see it coming to fruition.

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Haway the corruption, mon. Thailand's new PM's a Geordie!

He might be the subject of civil unrest in Bangkok, but it turns out the Prime Minister of Thailand's a canny lad! Charismatic Abhisit Vejjajiva, who's been in charge of his country for five months, was in fact born in Newcastle in 1964 where his father and mother were both medical professors.

And he's aware enough of his Geordie background to declare, "I am a fan of The Toon!"

Despite being 44, he's only seen The Mags win one major trophy - back in 1969! "It was the right time to take the bairn back home", said his dad.

Drs Athasit and Sodsai Vejjajiva went back to Thailand when their son was still a boy, but Newcastle United stayed with young Abby.

Born into a family with deep roots in Asian politics, his family has had good relationships with the Thai ruling elite from as far back as the 18th century.

But in one interview he admitted: “If I was not me, I would like to be a Newcastle United striker.”

His task as Thailand’s fifth Prime Minister in two years is to restore the country’s battered economic confidence, cool down its overheated political climate, and impose his authority on a cabinet formed during days of bargaining with his coalition partners.

But he'll have his work cut out. He's no mate of former Manchester City owner and Thai PM, Thaksin "Frank" Shinwatra, seen here with Abby's Toon shirt.

Outside the parliament, about 200 Thaksin supporters reacted furiously to what they called a “silent coup”, hurling barricades at the gates and stopping MPs from leaving. Insiders say the new coalition may only last a few more weeks.

It sounds like any Saturday at half-five outside St. James' Park each time Mike Ashley shows his face! - Sack The Board, Sack The Board, Sack The Board!!

Soccermongery wishes him well. The big question is: will he outlast Alan Shearer in keeping his top job?

No Deal Or No Deal. But Ashley's return to St. James' Park is GOOD news for Newcastle.

Doh! Just when he thought he'd seen the back of St. James' Park for good, Mike Ashley's got no takers for Newcastle United.
No Deal or No Deal. "Damn the Credit Crunch!", he must be thinking over a Domino's Pizza and pint. But is this such gloomy news for the Toon as things stand?

Ashley was booed out of St. James' Park hot on the heels of quitter Kevin Keegan, declaring he'd "got the message" that he wasn't wanted by the fans as club owner.

Trouble is the crisis heralded an air of austerity and humility at the club. No coach worth his salt wanted the job, leaving it to those desperate for a last chance of the big time.

Enter Joe Kinnear, without a sniff of work in football for four years, but with a decent top-flight record at Wimbledon - and he's done rather well, steadying the ship and getting his squad performing consistently. An example of a football man written off prematurely in the over-judgemental world of the English game.

It's not as if Newcastle hasn't got quality: Michael Owen, Damien Duff, Nicky Butt, Obafemi Martins, Shay Given, Geremi and Mark Viduka: all good enough to keep them up.

Ashley's decision to drink up, then wash and go sent Newcastle into freefall. Suddenly there was no manager, an AWOL chairman and a middle-management dubbed cockney mafia, starring Dennis Wise. Who on earth was going to work in that framework and get the team performing? It was the very definition of football's poisoned chalice. Worse than managing England!

But a few months on, the picture's rather different. Ashley's renewal of vows maybe good news for Newcastle United.

They're a decent bet to stay up and though the squad isn't good enough long-term, the fans still turn up in their thousands for the Toon and there's lots to build on.

It's time the Toon Army buried the hatchet and got behind their owner. I think this new version of recession-hit Newcastle minus the Fancy Dans and bad boys can start to prosper.

Also on Jonny's Soccermongery: Thailand's new Prime Minister is a Geordie! and Keeping Michael Owen is out of Newcastle's hands or Home Page for the latest entry.

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Keeping Owen is out of Newcastle's hands

Michael Owen's given notice to the jeering doubters that he's still a force to be reckoned with. Three goals in two games issues a heads up to Newcastle and a clutch of Premier League suitors that he'll bag the goals to make a critical difference as the season reaches a climax.

It's the manner of the marksman's return to form, co-inciding with his 29th birthday that's caught my eye. Form and match fitness go hand-in-hand and it's been a while since he's looked so comfortable in his body.

There's that niggle as to how injury prone he is but judging from the last few games, the chances of setback have receded.

Newcastle have had the temerity to offer him a new contract on reduced terms. Reward for 9 goals in 10 starts this season. Who'd stick round there? Newcastle are having a laugh.

At the right club, Owen would restore himself to the glister of his best Liverpool and England days. It's just a shame for Joe Kinnear that the club is run by a bunch of oyks who've gone Absent Without Leave.

But for the professionalism and commitment of Kinnear and his squad, Newcastle United would be in freefall. Kinnear may prevent the board hanging Owen out For Sale in the January Transfer Window like bored babysitter, Michael Jackson.

But with his contract up at the end of the season, Owen's perilously close to leaving on a Bosman, or with a transfer discount so massive even Woolies would be left shrugging their shoulders.

Every board knows post-Bosman you've got to open talks with the player 18-months before the contract finishes. Newcastle's non-existent board are in such a state of inertia, the longer it's left the better it gets for Owen.

Make no mistake, Owen should plot the rest of his career now. He should pull the emergency cord and flee Newcastle faster than Ant and Dec did when London Telly called.

So who should sign him? Well, there's probably a case for most of the Premier League - but Spurs, Villa, Everton, Chelsea, Wigan and Stoke should be up for capturing what would be the biggest bargain this decade.

Signing a player like Owen is always a dramatic gesture. It was Graeme Souness and Terry McDermott who pulled off the coup to bring him home from Real Madrid. This time, the fanfare may be a few decibels lower, but to quote the England striker the day he signed at St James' Park, "...the one thing I can guarantee the fans is goals". Matchfit and facing big opposition, Owen will deliver.

Sorry Geordies: Keegan's exit is a positive for Newcastle United!

I know this is unpalatable to Toon fans but Kevin Keegan is a proven loser and totally ill-equipped to lead a Premier League team in the 21st century. Newcastle, you're best off without him. The next thing for the Toon to pray for is a Manchester City-style change of ownership and rid themselves of Oyk Ashley too.

It's time for Newcastle United to extricate itself from the past. The last time Kevin Keegan led Newcastle to (near) glory in the 90's, he was merely pitted against Arsenal's Bruce Rioch, Liverpool's Roy Evans and Chelsea's Ruud Gullit.

Who beat Keegan to the title? the ultimate football winner, Alex Ferguson. Aside from the total one-off that is The Govanor, the game's moved on.

Now Arsenal are led by Arsene Wenger, at Liverpool it's Rafa Benitez, Chelsea have a World Cup winner in the shape of Big Phil and it's still SIR Alex Ferguson of United. Then there's Martin O'Neill at Villa and Tottenham's Juande Ramos. Keegan can't hold a candle to any of them.

"We cannot possibly understand the fabled north-east football mentality", we're told as outsiders.

It's that mentality which propels Kevin Keegan to its summit as some sort of messiah. A romantic figure, a Pied Piper leading Newcastle to Wembley wins and open-top bus celebrations around Sid James' Park.

WAKE UP!! If Newcastle played Blyth Spartans, Hartlepool(s) and Darlington every week, the north-east mentality would be all that was required. But Newcastle doesn't operate in isolation.

In fact, the fabled north-east mentality comes off the rails every time its pitted against the north-west mentality; clubs from there win big pots every year - and have done so for 50 years.

Keegan was never the man to lead Newcastle out of the mire. Even with a supportive Geordie board rather than Ashley, he'd have found a way to quit.

Not that Ashley's any better. He's even worse to be honest; he has a track record of division and riding roughshod over anyone in his way.

Newcastle need a strong man the fans recognise and who they'd get behind - BUT someone without the baggage of a triumphant return. Someone to wipe the slate clean, to look to the future not the past. To really be in charge without board or middle-management interference.

Jose Mourinho, Martin O'Neill and Fabio Capello fit the bill. They're not available and would never be under the current circumstances. Who'd work for Ashley? The severance clause would be the most important part of the contract!

Keegan's Long Walkout of Fiefdom is hardly going to encourage a top coach to replace him. It might even leave Dennis Wise in the boxseat for the hotseat.

Still, as indigestible as that might be to every Toon fan, at least it would simplify the lousiest management structure in the Premier League.

And until they sort that out, there's no future for Newcastle United at all.