Inside Stephen Ireland’s House

Jessica, a rat, Stephen.

In a flabbergasting splurge of nouveau riche taste, Soccermongery's found these fabulous "OK"-style shots of Stephen Ireland at home.

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Inside Stephen Ireland’s House

For me, the baize on the pool table tops even the bedroom's decor.

Some new claret and blue theme wouldn't go amiss, eh Stephen? But tell me, is the spare bedroom for your grandmas?

Houllier's coronation looks better without Thompson



Houllier: any clues about who'll be assistant?

I originally declared disappointment at Gérard Houllier's appointment as Aston Villa's first manager hired by Randy Lerner. Now I admit his arrival looks better that Phil Thompson's rejected the chance of joining him!

Our American owner wants a man with both Premier League experience and an international profile. Houllier ticks both of those boxes - but then again so do many other inappropriate figures in the game.

Thompson's turned down the chance because of his TV commitments. A one club man through and through, Thommo would've frankly looked out of place at Villa Park.

Phil Thompson: calm down, la!

Villa is in Birmingham with all its cultural and regional differences to Liverpool. Thommo firmly represents a Liverpool way. Villa are in no way a lesser pedigree of football club to Liverpool. But Thompson's arrival would've intimated that.





But what does Houllier do with Kevin MacDonald? Caretaker manager in the wake of Martin O'Neill's shock resignation, MacDonald's fifteen years at Villa gives him a special relationship with so many players and staff in the club.

MacDonald would make the Ticket look so much more rounded if he were to be Houllier's right-hand man. The Frenchman could do a whole lot worse than get over Thommo with I think, a much better coach.

Houllier is a spikey, divisive figure with a history of buying terrible players at Liverpool including Bruno Cheyrou, Titi Camara and Salif Diao.

Then again, he did produce a team which won the FA Cup, League Cup, UEFA Cup and finished fourth in the Premier League - all in one season (so technically qualifying for Europe in four different ways!)

His Anfield progress was disrupted by a heart problem. Nevertheless, he did make a full recovery and led Lyon to two French Ligue Championnats.

I don't want to be too critical - but I just have a bad feeling about this. It smells of a kneejerk appointment of the small pool of available bosses.

If O'Neill's untimely departure was designed to cause Villa damage, then the Ulsterman certainly put the club on the backfoot. 

Let's get behind Houllier because we have to - but Randy should keep one eye on the soul of the club as well as our supposed constituency of the watching football world.

Capello seems oblivious to how it works in England



Sid James with a wig

 Fabio Capello declares consternation at how the English press build him up to knock him down. After the comfortable 4-nil win over Bulgaria in England's first game of the Euro 2012 qualification campaign, Capello insists he will get on with the job of managing the team in the same way he's done all along.

The truth is Fabio, you've got to bend a bit to the way it works here, or you'll get into more trouble.

The only way the Italian can escape a huge media barrage - is to keep winning. I suppose the Euro 2012 campaign will keep the wolves from the door for the next couple of years, such is the comfort of the opposition we're pitted against. Unless of course, he endorses a product he shouldn't or gets up to some unnamed no good!

But Capello must learn to be more surefooted with English custom and the management of his players. What worked with provincial players at Roma certainly doesn't work with our pack of feral and insular millionaires from the Premier League.

The Capello Index was a huge cock-up and he should know better than to take on David Beckham. Telling Becks his career was over and offering him a testimonial was swiftly rejected by the former England skipper. It showed no sensitivity to the player's star quality and his near bodily commitment to the England cause.

Didn't Becks return from injury to steer Real Madrid to the Primera Liga after his Real boss Capello had written him off earlier in the season?

Now Capello will look suspect if he doesn't select Beckham when the LA Galaxy star does eventually return to full fitness.

Yes, a 4-nil win is good. We've come to see Capello knows how to manage us to tournaments, its when we get there we don't have a scooby.

But his thoughts on the English press show a lack of understanding of England, the culture and the job here and at 64, a stubborn steadfastness to values which don't belong here.

Fabio: on the salary you're on here, understand that you are fair game for the most vitriolic criticism! It's our team and you are a mere temporary custodian of it.

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Avram Grant, football's most celebrated loser is a Lion Zion Iron!

Handball!

You've got to love Avram Grant. He's a heady cocktail of the dour and doleful. He's lost every big game he's ever been charged with winning. Throw in a sex scandal too and you'd have thought he'd be jeered and ridiculed at every away ground on which he prowls the touchline.

I mean here's man who's been a loser in the finals of the Champions League, the FA Cup and Carling Cup and a Premier League runner-up.

But no. He's celebrated, nay feted!

As his West Ham career falters into gear, Soccermongery reckons he could've bagged an even bigger job on the continent such is his international standing and respect. Losing the Cup Final and finishing rock-bottom with Pompey apparently earned him the right!

So what's his appeal and why after Portsmouth's dog of a season has his stock never been higher?

Well, I'll tell you why. Grant joined Pompey too late. They were already doomed. He had to make do and mend with the squad he inherited. The wave of changes in ownership, financial misgivings and breaches of rules were too strong for the team to counter.

Yet Grant's Portsmouth played with commitment, organisation and vigour - and they won their fair share of matches, even though they crashed and burned in the league.

The FA Cup run showed their spirit proving that you took Grant's team lightly and you'd get beaten. Even in the league, they had their days in the sun. Just ask Wigan, Wolves, Birmingham and Spurs. Memorable wins for Pompey in both competitions.

Grant's rallying call to the Fratton Park faithful about not crushing their spirit even if everything else was taken away, is the stuff of the siege mentality all the big managers specialise in doling out to their players and the press.

I don't know either, mate!

Avram's got a big future - and if he can galvanize the Hammers into playing more spirited football than Gianfranco Zola did, there'll be a good few offers from some interesting leagues for the Israeli to ponder.

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