Richard Keys & Andy Gray: first moments on talkSPORT

Here are the first three minutes of Keys and Gray's return to work. Any ship in a storm? certainly not and the disgraced pair can count themselves lucky that talkSPORT wanted them. As one door closes, another opens as my Grandma Estelle always said, and the former Sky Sports duo took to the national speech station like a duck to water.

The dynamic between Keys and Gray will certainly change. The fiery Scot will have to become accustomed to a support pundit role, as Coventry Keys will link at the controls, but I'm sure it'll settle down into a top class show.

Richard's steady style doesn't need much tweaking from his TV demeanour. In any event, he can draw on experience gained at Liverpool's Radio City two decades ago. But Gray needs to inject something into his delivery. That'll come. But he seemed a little miserable on his first day.

talkSPORT acted cannily in signing the pair quickly - and as if to demonstrate the sudden market flurry in radio talent, Mike Parry who quit Hatfields after a decade, pairs up with Robbie Savage to present 6-0-6 this Saturday evening.

A week is a long time in national radio!

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Avram Grant, football's most celebrated loser is a Lion Zion Iron!

Handball!

You've got to love Avram Grant. He's a heady cocktail of the dour and doleful. He's lost every big game he's ever been charged with winning. Throw in a sex scandal too and you'd have thought he'd be jeered and ridiculed at every away ground on which he prowls the touchline.

I mean here's man who's been a loser in the finals of the Champions League, the FA Cup and Carling Cup and a Premier League runner-up.

But no. He's celebrated, nay feted!

As his West Ham career falters into gear, Soccermongery reckons he could've bagged an even bigger job on the continent such is his international standing and respect. Losing the Cup Final and finishing rock-bottom with Pompey apparently earned him the right!

So what's his appeal and why after Portsmouth's dog of a season has his stock never been higher?

Well, I'll tell you why. Grant joined Pompey too late. They were already doomed. He had to make do and mend with the squad he inherited. The wave of changes in ownership, financial misgivings and breaches of rules were too strong for the team to counter.

Yet Grant's Portsmouth played with commitment, organisation and vigour - and they won their fair share of matches, even though they crashed and burned in the league.

The FA Cup run showed their spirit proving that you took Grant's team lightly and you'd get beaten. Even in the league, they had their days in the sun. Just ask Wigan, Wolves, Birmingham and Spurs. Memorable wins for Pompey in both competitions.

Grant's rallying call to the Fratton Park faithful about not crushing their spirit even if everything else was taken away, is the stuff of the siege mentality all the big managers specialise in doling out to their players and the press.

I don't know either, mate!

Avram's got a big future - and if he can galvanize the Hammers into playing more spirited football than Gianfranco Zola did, there'll be a good few offers from some interesting leagues for the Israeli to ponder.

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Torres return bolsters Spain’s World Cup hopes!

Betting Preview » Blog Archive » Torres return bolsters Spain’s World Cup hopes!

Spain's preparations for the Finals look strong indeed. Fernando Torres has had a season dogged by injuries with Liverpool, but just like two years ago when Spain won Euro 2008, he may just be returning to his very best.

Torres was a goalscorer in that Final as the Spanish beat Germany. They remain the bookies favourite to lift the trophy in South Africa.

Listen to Daniel Freeman's podcast as Soccermongery continues to preview the tournament.

We will win World Cup without Walcott

Fancy making the squad at 16 without a first team appearance to his name, then missing out having hit a hattrick as a full international! Soccermongery reports on Fabio's Ins and Outs as he names our World Cup 23.

So Capello's left Theo and Darren Bent out of his squad for South Africa, with Gareth Barry recovering enough from injury to make the squad. Matthew Upson's got in despite Michael Dawson's excellent season and Tom Huddlestone got all excited ... in vain!

Stephen Warnock gets the nod ahead of Leighton Baines and Emile Heskey's inclusion gives every man under the age of 45 the hope he might still be invited to train with Capello's squad. You'd have got lofty prices at the bookies on Carragher and King getting called up - even a couple of months ago, but the pair of veterans have made it.

But in an astonishing about-face, it's Walcott, an untried teenager without a Gunners game to his name four years ago, who'll be watching the telly like you and me!

Now, as a Premier League and Champions League star, hitting a hattrick in Croatia, so laying the ghost of Wembley to rest, the Gunners winger is dumped in favour of Aaron Lennon and Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Many will say on form, the Tottenham and Manchester City players are worthy of their places ahead of Walcott, dogged by injury and loss of form this season.

But for my money, Walcott is a special player capable of brilliance - and worth inclusion.

But I'm not England manager, that bloke from Italy is.... Forza Inghilterra!

Click here: Robocrouch dances off to South Africa.

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England's ordinary display is no indication of our World Cup prospects

England were far from brilliant in beating Mexico in their final Wembley warm-up before the World Cup Finals. But without Chelsea's "weary" Cup Final players (a game played nine days ago!) it wasn't a first-choice line-up either.

Still, Peter Crouch added to his impressive tally: 21 goals in 38 international appearances and Wayne Rooney came out unscathed as did the rest of the squad. It was one of Crouch's comedy goals which the referee generously allowed as he appeared to bundle it over the line with his arm.

It was good to see both Ledley King and Glen Johnson score. It's important we can rely on goals from all over the park; a need magnified by Rooney's diminishing England strike rate.

He's scored just once in his last seven having hit ten in the previous seven.

King's header disguised a rather below-par performance. He was frequently left standing by his Spurs teammate, Dos Santos in Mexico's attack. But Johnson's goal was a peach; his rising left-foot drive from outside the area was more than enough to earn him Man Of The Match when in fact no one really deserved it.

Even a West Ham player scored. Guillermo Franco took advantage of some sloppy England defending - followed by a most surreal celebration from the Mexican fans, delayed because of their viewing angle to the action at the other end of the stadium.

Two seconds later - uproaorious celebration. Good news travels fast!

Adam Johnson came off the bench for his full England debut. An old-fashioned dribbler, he looks set to be Fabio Capello's wildcard - and a substantial one at that. Jamie Carragher was comfortable if untested on his return to the fold as was Joe Hart, who caught everything with confidence. Opportunities seem to opening up for him at both club and country level. Milner joins Crouch and Baines on the plane and I'd pick Walcott too. Despite struggling with his form, he's a player capable of greatness. It's just all ahead of him!

But despite the slack passing, England had plenty in terms of invention and match fitness - and we're as ready as we're ever going to be to take on the rest of the world in South Africa.

Click here: Avram Grant: football's most celebrated loser. Soccermongery's all about your feedback, so write away, right away!

The Nike World Cup advert: the best ever?

Starring Rooney, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Ribéry. Rip roaring!



Also on Soccermongery: why Grant the loser is lauded as a winner. plus:

Soccermongery's Champions League video preview:

Burnley's Fair Play League hopes dashed

As quickly as hopes were raised for Burnley, they were dashed! UEFA's decided to award Fair Play places in Europe to Sweden, Denmark and Finland next term, so ending the relegated Clarets hopes of joining the Euro elite from August. But Soccermongery says the Fair Play League is distinctly unfair - to deserving clubs:

Why should Burnley manager Brian Laws have been incentivised by Europe's governing body to send out his team urging careful challenges in their last game of the Premier League season? Because that's what Laws would've been mindful of as he prepared his Clarets for their last (ever) game in the top flight, at home to Tottenham. A place in Europe via this contorted route was still up for grabs at the time.

It’s not as if they were a particularly clean team anyway. Burnley were just the highest up the Fair Play table who'd not qualified for Europe.

In fact, they finished as low as seventh. Incredibly, the six teams above them didn’t need a back door to Europe like this; they'd already qualified. Arsenal, Spurs, Chelsea and Villa among them.

What the Fair Play League shows year after year is that successful teams are usually disciplined enough to play the game the right way, leaving struggling hoofers like Burnley to earn this ridiculous route into the Europa League.

I suppose it might've stopped an exodus of players from Turf Moor following their relegation to the Championship. That and the parachute money, of course. But it’s still a European-style fudge and nonsense.

If UEFA awarded a Europa place to the most improved side in the Premier League, it might help that club to develop further. Stoke or Birmingham would drink to that suggestion.

Redknapp proves Premier League discriminates against English managerial talent

Harry Redknapp's achievement in securing Tottenham's first-ever appearance in the Champions League is every bit as significant as his FA Cup win with Portsmouth two years ago.

It shouldn't be forgotten just how much disarray Spurs were in when Redknapp replaced Juande Ramos literally overnight. They've gone from ‘two points in eight games’ to 70 from 37 inside two seasons. The oddball Wembley defeat to Pompey is the only black mark this campaign.

Spurs’ resurgence under the stewardship of their cockney manager's been astronomical. In a matter of 555 days, the former West Ham winger's turned the club’s fortunes totally on their head, steering them from the clutches of relegation to what will be their highest league finish in 10 years.

Sam Allardyce often complained that he'd have got more of a sniff of the top jobs in the Premier League, if he were called Samuele Allardice (it's in Italics for a reason, folks!) Now, Harry's made Spurs one of the more coveted jobs in English football through force of will - and with an all-British coaching staff.

And 2010 marks the resurgence of the English manager in the world game. Joining Redknapp in raising eyebrows are Fulham's Europa League hero Roy Hodgson and the former wally with the brolly, Steve McClaren, who's just won the Eredivisie with Twente Enschede.

The one-nil win over Manchester City at Eastlands, Tottenham's last rival for that coveted place, shows they have the application and big-match mentality to give the Champions League "a good old go" as Harry might say.

Even by last January's transfer window, Redknapp had assembled a decent squad with a strong-looking bench. Much stronger than their competition in Aston Villa, who picked from their inexperienced but talented youth team, Manchester City, who were still garnering a new team spirit and Liverpool, who under the leadership of Steven Gerrard and Rafa Benitez, fell away under pressure to perform.

Redknapp's flexible and pro-active enough to realise his current squad's not good enough to reach the business end of Europe's elite competition. His wheeler-dealing in the market is well documented - and now he'll be able to attract top players to the club.

But perhaps rather than wholesale changes, Redknapp may only need to tweak the squad, such is the talent and spirit within it. From Crouch to King, from Gomes to Danny Rose, Tottenham have the basis to build on their phenomenal season.

They might be about to embark on their first adventure in Europe at this level, but don't expect Tottenham Hotspur to roll over against the big sides.

Click here: Why Mourinho should think twice before a Premier League return.

Jose Mourinho: Motorway Man of football

Also on Soccermongery: Follow Jonny Gould on Twitter and Jonny's Facebook page

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As Jose Mourinho is Motorway Man: a materialistic, car-dependent middle manager at the centre of the cross-party tussle for votes in a tightly fought General Election.

The parties were looking at new housing estates near motorways – home to salesmen and other white-collar workers, who spent long hours on the road.

These we're told, were crucial to get David Cameron into office, and switch the electoral map back from red to blue.

Except in this case, Mourinho could be switched from blue to red!

The Portugeezer, who last week proclaimed Italian football didn't like him, and he didn't like it, covets a return to the Premier League (er, he meant Primera Liga!).

He's materialistic alright, loves his motor and wears a white collar! Even after leaving Chelsea, Roman Abramovich splashed out £2 million on a limited edition Ferrari 612 Scaglietti for his former team boss.

And weighing in on £8.3million a year at the Giuseppe Meazza, he can be classed as someone focused on remuneration.

Yes, the Reds of Trafford, the Blues of Manchester and the Yellows of Liverpool (away 2008/9) were all on a watching brief to bring Mourinho back to power in England! In the end, Jose waved the White Flag and surrendered to Madrid's overtures.

Jose Mourinho: football's Motorway Man.

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Birmingham City Transfer Swoop!

BREAKING NEWS! Birmingham City have made a £100million offer for Mr. Messi.

If successful, owner Carson Yeung's also promised to follow up with bids for Mr. Bump and Mr. Tickle!

Click here for Jose Mourinho: Motorway Man and Fergie's missed his chance to quit at the top.

Fergie's missed his chance to quit at the top

As Chelsea turn the title race around, United succumb to German efficiency in Europe. Are United prone to mistakes in their haste to win matches? Is Fergie reaching for the pipe and slippers under the weight of the Glazer's debt bubble? Jonny's view:

It was all set fair: Rome, May 2009. A second consecutive Champions League Final. Victory over Barcelona would've confirmed Manchester United as the undisputed greatest on the planet. Well, they'd already mopped up a hattrick of Premier League crowns and claimed the first-ever meaningful World Club Cup.

A third European title beckoned for Sir Alex Ferguson and having drawn level on eighteen with Liverpool as Champions of England, Fergie had fulfilled his promise of "knocking the Reds off their perch".

But Barca outplayed United. With 150 goals and six titles to their name, Messrs. Messi, Henry and Eto'o flicked mud at United's glister.

Then with Cristiano Ronaldo's defection to Madrid confirming Spain's economic and footballing superiority over England, Fergie might've wished for one more heroic 90 minute push from his never-say-die troops against Barca.

That way he could've left: unbowed, undefeated, the Greatest Of All Time.

But his boys lost badly - and like Muhammad Ali, the street fighter doesn't know when to stop.

Eleven months on, Bayern Munich have put paid to United's European bid at quarter-final stage and Chelsea have turned the title race upside down just as United were closing in. They look beatable by a dozen teams in the Premier League: emerging Villa emphatically planted their victory flag in Old Trafford soil, followed up by the ignominy of losing at home to Leeds United, two divisions below them.

Far from being the man in control, the hairdryer has a lower voltage. Sentiment's playing a role in some of his selections.

That the much-decorated Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes are still figuring isn't the Fergie of five years ago. No, back then they would've been on the Slow Boats to Everton, Newcastle and alike.

As much as Giggs still plays well, realistically he's not even a player that Spurs, Villa or Man City would race to sign. Scholes? wonderful servant but nowhere near the level required.

At the back, their squad's threadbare. Were Carrick and Fletcher really used as makeshift defenders? suddenly United's squad seemed no deeper than Stoke or Bolton's.

So the Govanator's missed his chance to quit at the very, very pinnacle of the game - or has he?

There's one way he can bow out with head held high. To go hell for leather for the Premier League title. A fourth consecutive trophy in the Old Trafford cabinet and a nineteenth in all to surpass Liverpool, would mark Fergie as the King of Kings in management. But after Chelsea, it's a Big If.

Click here: United Memories: Cantona at Manchester United

O'Neill quit rumours make Aston Villa fans groan!

If you've followed Villa for over thirty years like me, rumours that Martin O'Neill tendered his resignation after meeting owner Randy Lerner has more than a whiff of our long and extinguished history.

Just as we look like producing a winning team, competing for the big prizes, the owner b****cks it up by failing to back the manager, who then walks out - or gets the sack.

Villa fans have experienced this before: just the names have changed. For Randy Lerner, read Deadly Doug: for O'Neill, read Ron Saunders, Ron Atkinson and Brian Little.

O'Neill's talks with Randy are said to have revolved around the transfer budget for next season.

Although there are legitimate concerns about the relationship between owner and manager – Lerner's thought to want to cut the squad and wage bill this summer, countering O'Neill’s demands of a continued cash injection – Villa swiftly denied the Ulsterman had left the club.

The confusion came just days after Villa’s devastating 7-1 defeat at Chelsea, which has left our chances of a top four finish look slim. It was a result which O’Neill took full responsibility for.

He said: "The buck stops with me. It is my responsibility, it is as simple as that. Thankfully we don't have any midweek games now for a little while - but that would sound like the number of games we've played is an excuse. Please don't even go there - that was nothing to do with whether we had a midweek game or not.

"We've shown a lot more desire and a lot more character than we did against Chelsea and that is totally my responsibility. Whatever you say about performances and it is all very well talking about the players, that is down to me and that is my responsibility."

Villa must play Chelsea again in their FA Cup semi-final on April 10.

You might be a Villa fan, you might be a fan of the team we're playing. You might've "only come to see the Villa!". What's undeniable is the sheer passion and entertainment value of the Villa boss watching the game unfold on the touchline. Rarely has there been a manager watch with such intensity. Rather than kicking every ball like some rabid Dave Bassett or Barry Fry, O'Neill's accessing his sizeable intellect. A ticking timebomb, he scans the pitch judging the victor of individual player battles, assessing the tactical spread of players and where the threat is coming from in the opposition line-up - real or existential!

So when we score, he jumps with the eruption of a volcano. The larvae in his explosive body can't hold anymore.

He's a man who understands what's needed and if Villa are serious about becoming a force in Europe again, Randy needs to back the former Celtic chief. He's the best man for the job, no question.

Otherwise the Big Project is over - and Villa will be consigned to mid-table obscurity or worse!

For your Soccermongery delectation, here's a collage of O'Neill in action! Pictures expressing his many emotions.

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When the seagulls follow the trawler: Cantona at United

For all the stars who've graced the Manchester United shirt, Eric Cantona stands alone as the most iconic and charismatic.

Collar up, arched back, straight arms.

Far from the Best, Cantona rather underperformed in the Champions League, never figured for his country when they won the trophies - and only really turned it on in the Premier League and FA Cup.

But his impact domestically was total. Hughes was committed, Keane courageous, Giggs robotically consistent, Rooney talismanic, Ronaldo mercurial. But it's Eric The King who framed the era of Sir Alex Ferguson with his unique brand of swagger, raffishness et victoire.

We'll never see his like again, on or off the field, encapsulated in eleven seconds by that extraordinary news conference painted a pretty picture on his verbal easel.

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

Ironic that sublime eloquence should be borne of extreme violence. Cantona's Kung Fu kick at Selhurst Park on racist fan, Matthew Simmons was shocking and he was severely punished for it.

With aloof demeanour, arched back and turned up collars, Cantona steered United to the league the year Kevin Keegan's Newcastle should've won it - then to the Double with a goal of spectacular technique against The Spice Boys of Liverpool, white suits and all.

Cup winning strike at Wembley

Two goals spring to mind. The Newcastle-slaying volley at St. James' Park which handed United advantage in the title race and a fantastic chip against Sunderland, where Eric turned to acclaim the adulation from all four corners of Old Trafford by puffing out his shoulders like a tinpot dictator!

Cantona was so disillusioned by his nine-month world football ban that he had to be talked out of quitting for good by Fergie.

The United boss roamed Parisian alleyways on the back of a moped searching for his errant genius. He found him, talked him down and Cantona returned to Old Trafford scoring against Liverpool.

But before United's greatest triumphs - the 1999 treble - Cantona had gone for good, and it was the right decision. In his autobiography, Managing My Life, Sir Alex describes "the thickening process" in Eric's body. The first signs of a middle-age spread. Cantona's motivation had gone. Beach Football and Movie Stardom beckoned.

I watched him a summer later playing Professional Beach Football in Hyde Park. You have to be fit to play on sand - and he really was. There was probably a Championship season left in him. Full, potty crowds would have rolled up to see him - but the stage just wouldn't have been big enough. Cantona quit at the top, a permanent United legend.

That other famous strike in a United shirt.

Cantona opposed the Malcolm Glazer takeover claiming he'd never return even as manager while the Glazers were in charge. But in July 2008 the Sunday Express reported Cantona's second thoughts. A close friend revealed: “Eric does fancy helping out with coaching at a club like Manchester United. He's been enjoying himself in films and being involved in beach soccer but has always wanted to help produce a team in his style and knows that Sir Alex would encourage him".

Despite his vow that he'd never return while the Glazers remained in control of United it appears his stance has mellowed.

United are too big a behemoth to take a chance on Cantona as United's next manager. But don't write off a return to Old Trafford for a man who has a relationship with his fans like few others.

Soccermongery's all about your feedback, so write away, right away!

Also on Soccermongery, check out our Top Story today.

Nil-Nil, Jeff! A guide to the mystery world of live TV football without pictures!

I've reported football for radio and TV for twenty years and without being too arsey, it's a journalistic skill you hone: 


Always keep in mind to broadcast with economy of expression for the remote listener. To do it well takes commitment.

So why does telly use inarticulate, untrained ex-players on Saturdays? No one invited me to play midfield for Arsenal or manage Walsall, so why is Paul Merson any better equipped to do my job? If you've watched these shows, you'll know the answer.

Players use that strange present tense that can't be used in any other context. So Saturday comes around and Jeff shreeeeks something formulaic like:

"You've just heard Merse moooan watching West Ham against Villa... last time we checked in, West Ham missed a spot-kick but have Villa made them ruuue that (growls here) early chance, Paul?"...

..."...they haven't yet, Jeff!", anti-climaxes Merse. "Ashley Young gets it halfway, skins Matty Upson, it falls for Umbongalore who has a crack, Jeff, but Rob Green does well... turns it away for a corner; nil-nil, Jeff".

Of course, ex-player's "media careers"are pigeon-holed into a narrow range of tasks. There's not one ex-pro that could hold that live show together like the exceptionally live Jeff Stelling. Believe me, I did the same show: ITV's Football First. Four hours of non-stop updates, my brain agog with how many since Agogo scored and when Huddersfield last won at home.

And by the way, there's no recorded sighting of a commentator who used to be a player either. You get a guest summariser, that's only so the brilliant and thorough Alan Parry can have a glass of water!

I guess I resent the knock on the studio door by ex-players saying "I'm 36, I'll have some of that", without taking it seriously and doing the yards, the homework, learning the broadcast skills-set.

"We played the game, we know what we're talking about!", an Andy Gray-style rambling which divides the world up into two categories: "football people" and the rest of humanity.

It's a disdain for his fanbase as though we're watching him to be put right because we couldn't possibly understand having not been a pro.

Almost geraldratneresque, Andy. No wonder, he got the bullet. Pure hubris: pride came before the fall.

My message to ex-players. You're not necessarily blessed with extra knowledge! I bet you couldn't organise a live show in a brewery.

Let me tell you, Andy Gray: I've watched football, reported football and played football (with enthusiasm if not technical brilliance) long enough (by the way, I'm actually descended from "football people" too. Are you? Is it hereditary?) and therefore, your qualifications over mine must be tenuous at best.

Having said all of that, there are honourable examples of players who did make the transition:

I always admired Bob Wilson's attempt at on-air orthodoxy. He was functional on 1980 Football Focus, but he did resemble a broadcaster and he deserved his job.

Jimmy Hill too, an intelligent man who genuinely leveraged his "football people" knowledge into opinion and comment when MOTD was a single shot in front of tan wallpaper. But he never let it spill over into the shows raison d'etre.

It took Gary Lineker ages before they turned him into on-air quality; even now he's a one-trick pony. You know that iron statue of Saddam with the outstretched arm they tore down when he was overthrown? well, that's Gary on-air! He's not asked to do complicated - but he's fine.

Nope, they're not listening to me. Andy Townsend's fronting ITV, Mark Bright frankspencer's his way across droney local telly and Garth Crooks frowns through The Red Button like he's talking Iraq - not Stoke.

The trend's here to stay.

So I'm cleaning my boots and I'm going to get myself a professional game. Oh, I'll do the work alright. I'll go to the gym, shoot with my left foot for hours, give and go - and try to perfect the glancing header.

I'll find a game at my level too.

Now, who are Birmingham City playing Wednesday night?

Also on Soccermongery: Carragher's "bottler" talkSPORT moment (podcast) and Massive debts run by the big 4 will see Change We Can Believe In!

Thierry Le Cunt Henry, the handball cheat!

Ah, Wikipedia: the democratic doyenne of world enlightenment and knowledge. An Open Source tool giving everyone the ability to update encyclopedia entries immediately. But sometimes, accurate information gives way to emotional outrage.

Thierry Henry's not popular after twice handballing France to victory over the Republic of Ireland to secure a place in the World Cup Finals in South Africa.

Here's his Wikipedia entry. His mum won't be proud of him  :(

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Dynamo Kiev's Death Match

By JAMES-GUY JACOBS.

Football doesn't tend to translate well onto the big screen. There have been several ineffective attempts to do so ranging from The Arsenal Stadium Mystery (1939) to the laughable Mean Machine (2001), starring Vinnie Jones.

A widely anticipated exception to this rule is The Damned United from 2009. This stars the consumate actor, Michael Sheen who played David Frost in Frost/Nixon and Tony Blair in The Queen (2006). It relates the tale of Brian Clough's 44 day reign as manager of Leeds United in 1974 and is based on David Peace's seminal novel of the same name.

Perhaps the most remarkable football film ever made was Escape to Victory (1981). This featured a highly unlikely cast including Michael Caine, Sylvester Stallone, Pele, Bobby Moore and Ossie "Tottingham" Ardiles. The plot of the film seemed equally implausible.

It went as follows: In World War II, a group of Nazi officers devise a propaganda event in which an all star Nazi team play a team composed of Allied Prisoners of War in a football game. The Prisoners agree, beat the Nazis against all the odds and then use the game as a means of escape from the camp.

Pure nonsense, right?

Wrong. The story was actually based on one of the most extraordinary football matches of all time and was comprehensively detailed in Andy Dougan's compelling book (Amazon): Dynamo: Triumph and Tragedy in Nazi-Occupied Kiev

To learn about what actually happened, we need to travel back to the Soviet Union in the late 1930s.

In this era and location, football started to become very popular, especially in Ukraine. The region's strongest team of this time was Dynamo Kyiv, part of the Dynamo sports society that was funded by the trade unions, the police and the Red Army. In Soviet Russia, football was a state-sponsored activity.

In 1938, Dynamo Kyiv came fourth in the national league, scoring seventy-six goals, but then performed poorly in 1939 and 1940.

The 1941 season was never completed, as Germany invaded the Soviet Union on 22 June 1941. Several Dynamo Kyiv players joined the military and went off to fight. As the Germans approached Kiev, the others who had stayed behind helped out with civil defence in the city. The initial success of the German Army allowed it to capture Kiev, one of the Soviet Union's major cities, from the Red Army. Several of the Dynamo Kyiv players who had survived the onslaught then found themselves prisoners of war in concentration camps.

In 1942, Dynamo's keeper, Mykola Trusevych, returned to the city and began searching all over Kiev for his former team mates. Over several traumatic weeks, he was able to form a new club, F C Start, which comprised of eight players from Dynamo and three players from Lokomotiv Kiev. During 1942, FC Start played several matches with teams of soldiers of occupying garrisons, and won them all.

However, this was not entirely positive. The German administration grew aware that FC Start victories might inspire Ukrainian inhabitants and decrease the morale of Axis troops.

Consequently, the German Luftwaffe team, Flakelf, set up a match with F C Start on 9 August, 1942 at Zenit stadium. An SS officer was appointed as referee, and FC Start were aware that he would be biased against them. Although anonymous sources warned FC Start of severe punishment if they did not lose the game to the Germans, the team still decided to play as always. They also refused to give a Nazi salute to their opponents before the match.

Just as the the FC Start players expected, the Nazi referee ignored Flakelf fouls. The German team quickly targeted the goalkeeper, Trusevych who, after a sustained campaign of physical challenges, was kicked in the head by a Flakelf forward and left groggy. While Trusevych was recovering, Flakelf went one goal up.

The referee continued to ignore FC Start appeals against their opponents' violence. The Flakelf team went on with their war of intimidation using every dirty tactic in the book. Despite this, FC Start scored with a long shot from a free kick by the former Dynamo striker, Ivan Kuzmenko. Then, the former Dynamo winger, Makar Honcharenko, against the run of play, dribbled the ball around almost the entire Flakelf defence and tapped it into in the German net to make the score 2-1.

By half-time, FC Start had scored another goal. Each side then scored twice in the second half. Towards the end of the match, with FC Start in an almost unbeatable position at 5-3, Oleksiy Klimenko, a defender, got the ball, beat the entire German rearguard and walked around the German goalkeeper. Then, instead of letting it cross the goal line, he turned around and kicked the ball back towards the centre circle. At this point, the SS referee blew the final whistle before the 90 minutes were up.

The consequences were dire for the F C Start side. Shortly after the match, all the players were arrested and accused of being Soviet spies. They were tortured and either executed immediately or sent to harsh labour camps. Only three of the eleven survived the war and were responsible for the popularisation of the story in Soviet culture.

The match itself was later branded "The Death Match" and inspired both Soviet and Hungarian cinematic tributes, as well Ossie, Sly and Sir Michael's 1981 effort. Now not alot of people know that!

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Also on the Soccermongery: Nil-Nil Jeff! you're guide to Football on TV and Fergie's News Conferences are better than some of the games and Today's Top Story.

Podcast Memories: Carragher's "bottler" broadcast

Watching Liverpool's Jamie Carragher appear as a Sky Sports summariser during Manchester United's 3-nil Premier League win over Chelsea was a bit of a wind-up... so I thought I'd pick this one out of the Soccermongery onion bag - the day Carra* was wound-up himself.

And oooh, didn't he take the bait with this! Have a listen to this podcast gold. From nowhere, Carragher phoned up talkSPORT Radio to respond to presenter Adrian Durham's allegations that he was a bottler.

*for maximum listening pleasure, say Carra in a Liverpudlian accent during download. Go on, try it.... Jarreh, Jarreh (note the J as in the Spanish, Javier). No wonder Rafa enjoys speaking English. His ajj-cent is well-equipped to deal with the rigours and contours of Stanley Parj banter, no?

This was an example of pressure getting to players where reputation is questioned all the time. But ultimately, aren't football matches won on the field of play ... not in the mind?

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Also on-site: Has Rafa delivered another Luv It, Luv It moment? plus video: Steve McClaren attracts a mystery Dutch accent!