It's not all doom and gloom in English football, you know. There's still much to be proud of. Yes, English football leads the way in more than just overpaying foreign stars in our Premier League and continuing to tolerate the feral behaviour of our yob England stars.
Despite England's disaster show, we've an array of English representatives at the World Cup's business end. The biggest beneficiary of our failure to reach the Final is Howard Webb, the most famous son of Rotherham since The Chuckle Brothers.
He's been given the world's most prestigious job in upholding football's rules when Spain face Holland on Sunday. Webb joins Jack Taylor as an Englishman who refereed the World Cup Final. In Taylor's case, he was the man in the middle in 1974 as West Germany beat Holland.
And commercially, reports of England's demise are somewhat overstated as the FA announce three new sponsorship deals. Manager Fabio Capello presents England's new partners (pictured).
There's no truth in the rumour that Capello's command of English led to the deliberate misspelling of FUCK.
No fears Fab. There's always EURO 2012 to fail at too!
Surprisingly human looking eye
Meanwhile, it's been revealed that Paul The Octopus, the creature who can't stop correctly predicting the outcome of World Cup matches, is English too.
The eight-legged superstar hails from Weymouth in Dorset.