Friday, 5 February 2010

The Curious Case of John Terry

Not surprisingly, big reaction to this on my talkSPORT show the day this broke. Here's a take on the whole sorry affair.
Fabio Capello's proved once again that he's not one to shirk the big decisions. John Terry will go to the World Cup, but as a player - not as England's captain following "frank talks" with the national coach lasting just twelve minutes.
It appears opinion is divided into three classic camps. Camp one believes you can't have an adulterer in a such a famed, "role model" position. Camp two believes the decision should be made purely on footballing grounds and camp three couldn't give a monkeys.
In fact, there is another large camp which is clearly inhabited by the majority of journalists and a substantial number of males. This, for ease of reference, can be called the camp of The Flipping Envious.

This week, the television news repeatedly screened footage of Terry's mistress meeting Max Clifford. The boring and obvious context was that they were planning how to milk as much cash out of the situation as possible. This was based on the premise that the mistress could finally reveal - for the correct price, obviously - the "true side" of the story.

Oh do me a favour! What most men were thinking was a) how did Clifford successfully avoid looking at her breasts or dribbling down his shirt and b) what an incredibly lucky man John Terry was.

Not only does Terry earn £170,000 a week - a fact the media hammers into you repeatedly - but he is able to shag beauties like Vanessa Perroncel on the side. Oh what a horrible person he is, say men to their disapproving wives and girlfriends, while inside they think, can you imagine romping with that French lingerie bird twice a week over four months? Fantastic!
Meanwhile, John Terry, according to various anonymous sources (who probably don't exist) sincerely regrets his actions and any damage caused. Does he, indeed? Terry is probably sorry that he broke the proverbial eleventh commandment and got caught but other than that I doubt he's ashamed in the least.

He has solidified his image as a geezer and a cad that no woman can resist. Yes, he may lose the England captaincy, possibly even a sponsorship deal or two but Terry knows that provided he plays well on the football pitch all will be fine in Terry-world. Another scandal will come along soon enough and the the public memory is notoriously short.
People have completely forgotten that David Beckham, the darling of English football, was also once linked to numerous extra-marital activities. That didn't stop him posing in Armani boxers or damage his England career. Indeed, moving aside from football, the most admired man of the twentieth century (says Time Magazine) was Albert Einstein, a selfish philanderer.

According to the BBC, Terry had to endure a "torrid reception" from the Hull supporters when Chelsea played there on Monday. However, the gist of their catcalls was that men should keep their wives away from John Terry. What a compliment to his sexual prowess!

But perhaps the greatest clue as to what John Terry thinks lies in a photograph pubished three days ago by The Times. He was caught in training, laughing nonchalantly with not a care in the world. And he hasn't really. With his pay packet, he knows his wife won't divorce him, he remains a guaranteed weekly lottery winner and many guys admire him (openly or secretly) and are envious.

You see, John Terry also knows a secret. It's a man's world. But he's not the biggest animal in the jungle.

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  1. I think he's just a normal sex mad footballer.

    He should be hung though for sleeping with a rough bird who is more orange than Katie Price.

  2. Have to agree with the gist of your article. The cynical world of footballers and wags rolls on.

  3. Jonny. Quite brilliant. I agree utterly and it's rare to hear such sanity in the maelstrom of this story.

  4. It's disgusting to replace him with Rio Ferdinand! Is this some kind of hilarious joke? And why didn't Sven get the sack? It is the kind of total hypocrisy we have come to expect from the FA.


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